we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Randomize
