Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Ketchup is God's man juice
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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