he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
