The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
