I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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