Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
