i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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