dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
