No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
