at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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