She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
