Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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