can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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