let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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