i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
