So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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