I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
