HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
