Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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