He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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