And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
