with your own penis?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
