So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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