My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
