i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
40s are totally the cure
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
