Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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