Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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