The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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