i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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