it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i now understand why vodka
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
