I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
