her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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