Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
