it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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