Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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