It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize