u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
