Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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