Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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