Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
