I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Randomize
