i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
