I think my fart just growled at me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You've changed since you got that strap on
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