hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize