I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
