Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
