Just cropdusted the office
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
