and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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