wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
