Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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