My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
