I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
