you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
