so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
