My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
