She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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