Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
