Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
