grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize