I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
